Mogollon Mindstate

When my buddy, Michael Duer offered up the opportunity to go run some trails on the Mogollon Rim, I couldn't refuse. The Mogollon Rim extends approximately 200 miles from northern Yavapai County to near the border with New Mexico. The massive formation seems to create a boundary between 2 completely different worlds. Below is the smoldering desert, while above it is crisp, cool mountain country. The contrast is spectacular.

This opportunity came with an added bonus. Duer's family has a cabin in the woods outside of Payson, just a few miles from where we were to begin our run. A mutual friend of ours, Mike Walker was also blessed with this sweet invite and chose to join us. The 3 of us piled into Duer's 4-Runner and headed on out. 

We did a lot of talking on the way to Duer's family cabin. We talked about any and everything to do with running. I ran that. He ran that. On my run. Did you go run? That runner is fast. That runner is slow. That runner is a freak. We are running geeks. 

With our incessant running babble flowing like Niagara Falls, the trip to Payson went surprisingly fast. "There's The Rim" Duer pointed out as we made our way into town. It looked like a long, cliff-like mountain range spread as far as the eye could see. I immediately got goose bumps as I began daydreaming of running up there. We stopped at Safeway to grab some of the essentials and made our way to the cabin.

After settling in at Duer's awesome family cabin we began getting all of our running gear together. We had just about everything you could imagine one would need for a long run. Camelbacks, bottles, gels, snacks, packs and hats. Socks and shoes, S-Caps and Gu's. Turns out we did forget one thing; Drinking water! Like a bunch of Morons, we had everything, except the most important thing. 

After making another trip to the Safeway in Payson for water, we got back to the cabin and called it a night. I rarely sleep well away from home. Let me rephrase that; I rarely sleep well. I managed to doze off as the rain drops began to fall outside. 

The morning arrived quicker than I would have liked and I forced myself out of bed. Like the weather outside, my head felt cloudy. I stumbled out of the front door and breathed in the fresh mountain air. There was a cloud cover and the air was thick with moisture. I immediately felt invigorated. This is exactly where I want to be. In the mountains. In the moment. 

The three of us said little to each other as we got all of our running gear together, our minds focused on the adventure we were about to embark on. I laced up my running shoes and felt my inner-animal come alive. "This is going to be amazing" I thought, "I can feel it". 

It took us about 30 minutes to drive from the cabin to Washington Park, where we were to begin our run. A smooth blanket of clouds lingered overhead, frosting The Rim. Jeremy Dougherty was the host of the run planned. Jeremy is the race director for The Mogollon Monster 100, and this was a 50k "preview" run for the upcoming race.

Washington Park

We pulled into Washington Park and met up with several other runners. I recognized a couple guys, one of which is part of the AdiUltra Team and a runner I follow. His name is James Bonnett. James started ultra running when he was 10 years old and completed 101.4 miles in 24 hours when he was 12. At 27 years old James is a seasoned veteran with a bunch of wins under his belt. "Wouldn't that be cool to share some miles with James" I thought to myself. After some chit chat and a brief course description from Jeremy, we began our journey.  

The start of the run was a 2 mile climb straight up the Rim via the Arizona Trail. I went out with Jeremy and shared my excitement for the day we had planned. "Wow, this looks nothing like Arizona" I exclaimed, "it's like we are in the Rocky Mountains!" Jeremy seemed to have his power hiking in full gear and I followed close behind as we climbed into the clouds. The last stretch before the top was almost at a 90 degree angle. "Glad this was at the beginning of the run" I mumbled to myself as I reached the top of the Rim.

Photo by Jeremy Dougherty

Photo by Jeremy Dougherty

 Jeremy explained the directions for the next part of the run as some of the other runners approached the top. He was going to drive ahead and begin marking the course.  I felt great. The views were spectacular. Clouds formed a thick fog-like layer in every direction. The next segment was 4.5 miles on the Rim Road. I looked down the road but could only see a few hundred feet as the clouds swallowed up the distance.

I headed off, down the Rim Road. I saw another runner coming up behind me and I slowed down so I could have someone to chat with. The other runner, Noel and I got acquainted. He had attempted the Mogollon 100 last year but had dropped at mile 85. He explained that he was going to have redemption this year. Best of luck, Noel! 

I was enjoying running in the clouds along the Rim Road, occasionally stopping to peer off the edge and snap a pic. The view was absolutely incredible. I could have taken a thousand pictures and not one of them could do it justice. One of the most beautiful places I've ever been. As I continued on my own, another runner caught up to me. He introduced himself as Sean. I recognized him but couldn't pin point exactly where from. 

Sean had a nice pace going and I was glad to have somebody to run with. He had also ran the Mogollon 100 last year and had also dropped at mile 85. "So are you going to have redemption on the Monster, this year?" I asked him. "No, I think I need a break from the Mogollon Monster. For awhile" he replied. He seemed to know his way around up here, so I was able to relax and fall into a nice groove. 

From the Rim Road we took a left onto Houston Brothers Trail. This is where my day really began. The single track trail was outstanding. Tall ponderosa pines towered overhead. "This is awesome!" I shouted. "It really is!" Sean agreed. The two of us held onto a solid pace as we zipped up and down the beautiful trail. 

As the two of us cruised the trail we chatted about running and life. Somehow we got to talking about running marathons, and how we both ran the Tucson Marathon this past year. "Wait" I said "now I know where I know you from. You past me at the 15 mile mark. We had a little discussion" I tried reviving his memory. "I sort of remember that" he said. I continued on, "yeah, it was right after that hilly out and back section. At the aid station I looked at you and said 'that section sucked'... You looked at me and said 'I loved it' and took off. I never saw you again". "Oh, now I remember!" Sean said while laughing. Turns out Sean beat me by about 5 minutes. 

From Houston Brothers we connected to Barbershop Trail. Barbershop Trail climbed for a bit before dropping into a meadow of beautiful wildflowers. I continued running right behind Sean, our conversation had quieted as we both seemed absorbed by the beauty surrounding us. It's moments like these that force me to appreciate where I am today. I am free. 

It's moments like these that force me to remember. I must always remember my past. A past I would love to forget, yet hold onto for strength. Memories of being a prisoner within myself are flooding my mind. Locked inside of an empty apartment. Locked inside of an empty soul. I run harder. Terrified of tomorrow. Fear controlling my mind. I run far away. I run because it saved my life. I am free. 

This section had some short but steep climbs and the elevation began taking a toll. I felt a bit winded but was determined to stick with Sean, using past emptiness as means of persistence. I was later informed of Sean's legendary status in the ultra world. Sean Meissner's Ultrasignup page is as long as the Declaration of Independence. Good God. 

Barbershop Trail led us to the U-Bar Trail Intersection. We ran into Jeremy here and helped him mark the course for the confusing area. We casually ran the next couple miles on U-Bar until stopping to munch some food where the trail dips back down into single track. A few other runners caught up to us, including a very entertaining guy named Justin. Justin has acquired the nickname "The Mouth" for obvious reasons. That guy is a world of entertainment! 

We continued on some more of the most glorious single track trail I've ever run on, making our way into Dane Springs. I stopped to look at an old broken down corral, it looked like it was hundreds of years old. There was fresh water flowing out of a pipe there and we all filled our bottles and packs. What a beautiful area this was. I noticed a heard of elk moving through some of the higher country. "Did they escape out of that old corral?" I thought jokingly to myself. 

Pretty soon the rest of the group came running down the trail into Dane Springs with James leading the way. It was the first time I had seen Duer or Walker since we started the run. "It's not my day" Duer said to me, "I've been low on energy all day". "It's pretty awesome out here though" I tried some encouraging words. He agreed. "What up man!?" I hollered at Walker as he approached me. "This is sick, but I'm sure feeling yesterday's BCL on my legs.." He replied.  Walker is in the height of training for his first 100 miler and had put in 17 tough miles the previous day. Jeremy shouted "later guys!" And took off.

Dane Spings~Photo by Jeremy Dougherty

  I jumped into running mode and followed close behind. The single track was simply luxurious. Smooth, runnable trail that went up and down. The weather had been perfect all day. The clouds still remained, creating almost misty conditions. Suddenly the trail descended into a canyon with a creek flowing through it. Jeremy and I stopped and waited for the others to catch up. The scenery was breathtaking.

Photo by Jeremy Dougherty

We continued running up and down, in and out of various canyons. Stopping here and there, staying in a group for the next 6 miles or so. I had managed to eat everything I brought, saving one gel for an emergency. I was a bit concerned about the lack of food, there was still over 10 miles to go. 

Pretty soon we passed by Pinchot Cabin. Just a cabin in the middle of a meadow. Bizarre. We began  to wind our way up a steep hill and all of a sudden I heard someone ringing a cowbell. Soon I saw a little girl and her mom waving at us and ringing the bell. I made it to the top and low and behold, like the greatest treasure on earth, there right in front of us; 

A.

Fully.

Stocked. 

Aid station. 

There couldn't have been a better feeling. Soon the rest of the group arrived with equally excited outbursts. Jay Danek and his wife and daughter were to thank. Jay is another well accomplished ultra runner and the author of a book that recently hit the shelves. Thanks to the Danek family!

Danek family aid~Photo by Jay Danek

 Duer walked up to me looking like he had been hit by a train. "Yeah, I'm not doing Javelina this year. I've been struggling all day. Just not in shape for it.." "Well maybe your just having a bad day" I responded. "No. I am just not ready" he admitted. "Good. You can pace me!" I exclaimed. I look forward to your "motivating" words during Javelina, Duer!

We all stuffed our face for awhile but it was time to finish this adventure. James took the lead and I followed behind. I really wanted to run with him and now was my opportunity. He took off at a nice clip and I followed closely. We hung a left on Fred Haught Trail and began a steep climb. James made the ascent look effortless as I tried not to fall back.

I figured this would be an ideal opportunity to ask James some questions about all his ultra glory and possibly get some good advice. So away I went. We talked about some of his strategies for running 100 mile races and how he got into running at such a young age. It was very beneficial to get to hear some of the things he does that have helped him have so much success. He is a very humble guy with a world of experience.

Eventually we connected back to the Arizona Trail. The single track trail continued on, with rolling hills and nice descents. My interview with James had ended and we ran to the sound of nature for the next few miles. It was an amazing experience getting to share some miles with someone of that caliber. In the end, we were just a couple of runners doing what we both love. Priceless. 

After passing General Springs Cabin, another cabin alone in the middle of nowhere, the trail turned into a forest road. We continued up the road to the edge of the Rim and eventually back to where we finished that grueling first climb. 

A few of us sat down on the edge of the Rim and glistened in the moment. The conditions remained mostly cloudy and entirely perfect. 

The high I get from moments like this is euphoric. 

After a short stay on the edge we dropped back down the steep segment of Arizona Trail. The clouds darkened and closed in on us. I began to feel the rain drops hit my body as I descended the cliff like section of trail. I felt like a billy goat jumping from rock to rock. 

The rain continued to fall harder as I made my way back into Washington Park, wrapping up the most epic day of trail running I've ever experienced. 

Pretty soon Duer and Walker came rumbling down the trail and into Washington Park. The rain continued to fall harder. 

 We all gathered for a brief moment while a torrential rainstorm congratulated us.

This is what I live for.

Mogollon Mindstate

Dream Machine

The more I become mesmerized by the beautiful challenge nature offers, the more I dream. I dream of mountains and summits. I dream of ascents that beat me to the ground, that destroy my legs and make my lungs beg for mercy. I dream of hundred mile treks through the most beautiful places on earth. I dream. I dream of escaping to these places. Inside my mind I escape. I runaway. I run far away. I dream.

Often times when I dream, I dream of being somewhere else. A place far away. My mind drifts away. Far away. I can say with all of my heart and all of my soul, that I am already living a dream. I can still chase my dreams. I will forever dream. And when I dream, I will always dream big. 

A few years ago I landed here in Tucson. I got off a plane and stepped into the unknown. I was picked up by 2 men and driven through town. A town I had never seen, full of people I didn't know. I didn't even know myself. I knew myself less than I knew the unknown. I arrived at a place called TLC, a halfway house full of parolees. 

"Where did I go wrong?" I thought to myself, "Why? Why am I here?" I sat in a broken chair, loneliness wrapped the inside of my broken heart. I missed my family. I missed my home. But I had no home. Was this my home? 

I sat there trying to sort out my sorted life. I gazed into the distance, my eyes welling up with tears. Beyond the broken down houses and decrepit commercial buildings, I saw a mountain. The sun was setting, spraying a coat of watermelon pastel over the mountain range, thus reminding me of home. I remember a strange feeling of serenity wash over me. 

I was raised in a good home, by great parents, in a nice neighborhood. Why on earth did I end up in this predicament? My very best thinking brought me to the depths of misery. I had no direction. I had no importance. I was lost. I was completely lost. 

And so I sat there in the broken chair dreaming of a better life. I was surrounded by people, yet more alone than ever. I stared into the distance as the sun disappeared, replacing the watermelon pastel with nothing but darkness. The emptiness was overwhelming. 

Feeling like TLC wasn't a good fit for me, I did what I was best at. I ran away. I left. Leaving a bag full of dirty laundry behind. 

My days grew darker after my departure. I was a lost soul on a treacherous road. Looking back on it, it seems surreal, like it never really happened. Like it was all a dream. 

Sitting on that broken chair, staring at The Santa Catalina Mountains, I could have never dreamed of the life I have today. This is not a dream, this is reality. And the mountains have become my refuge. 

I don't have to drift away, far away to dream. My dreams were cemented here. In my backyard. On these mountains. 

I will forever dream.

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