It's not an accident that a handful of the best runners in the country call it home.
The timing of the announcement conveniently came after I raced the Black Canyon 100k. A race that left a bitter taste in my mouth.
The timing of the announcement conveniently came after I raced the Black Canyon 100k. A race that left a bitter taste in my mouth.
I was on my way to finishing under my goal time at Black Canyon before I got off course and had it all slip away. Just thinking about it makes me feel sick to my stomach.
One of the distances happened to be 108k. And I wanted redemption. I didn't even hesitate. This was the remedy that I so desperately needed!
So I juggled up my racing schedule and signed up.
As race day approached, feeling fit and eager to compete, I decided to go defend last year's win at the Adrenaline Night Race. I figured a 54k trail race in the dark on some super fast single track would be an excellent warm up!
As race day approached, feeling fit and eager to compete, I decided to go defend last year's win at the Adrenaline Night Race. I figured a 54k trail race in the dark on some super fast single track would be an excellent warm up!
Makes perfect sense, right?!
Now, when I decided on the "Adrenaline race warm-up" thing, I was certain that there was enough of a layover between the two races. So you could imagine the shock was quite severe when I realized that it was only two weeks.
Now, when I decided on the "Adrenaline race warm-up" thing, I was certain that there was enough of a layover between the two races. So you could imagine the shock was quite severe when I realized that it was only two weeks.
Two weeks between Adrenaline and Big Pine. Two weeks between a 54k and 108k. Two measly weeks.
"Oh man.. This might not be a good idea." I thought to myself.
But I love to race. I was excited to go run fast in the McDowell's and I just couldn't bail on it. I tried to talk myself out of it. But then I talked myself out of talking myself out of it.. I'm so damn stubborn!
"It will be fine.." I explained to Kristi after making the discovery. Apparently she was fully aware of the time between the two races, I was the only idiot in that department.
"I will just run the 54k easy. It will be like a long training run... A fully supported long training run."
I told myself that was the plan. That was what I was going to do. Problem is that I don't do races like that. I just don't. I RACE races! I knew I was only fooling myself.
As we lined up at the start of Adrenaline, I had a feeling of absolute calmness wash over me. I knew I was about to go HAM and I was willing to take that risk!
Right out of the gate, I charged. I charged with the same intensity for the next four hours (and 9 seconds) bringing home the W.
I raced with an energy I never knew existed. I put everything into it. And yet, there was more. I never really suffered. I never felt like I had to slow down. I finished the race and felt fresh as a daisy! It was an amazing feeling. An amazing race. An amazing experience.
With the high of Adrenaline still pumping through my bloodstream, I set my sights on the next order of business; FLGX Big Pine 108k.
No rest for the weary! Or mentally ill..
I took one day off and jumped right into training mode. I was surprised by how my body was able to bounce back. I felt great, even set a PR on the ascent of Mount Wrightson, a run I've done many times. It was looking and feeling like my two race doozy was going to work out after all.
I tapered down the week of the race. Nothing was significant about my easy runs that week, other than feeling kind of exhausted. Usually when I taper, I feel like I need to go run. I feel like I need to run far and I need to run fast.
Not on this taper. This taper was the opposite. It was as if 54k of racing on my body waited a week to rear it's ugly head. I was tired.
"I guess I will see how this unfolds.." I told myself.
I'm rarely skeptical about how I think I will perform in a race. Nervous, yes. Skeptical, not so much.
Kristi and I got our car packed up with far more than necessary and set off to Flag! We left around one and figured to get up there by five. We would pick up my bib, check-in to our hotel, grab some dinner and call it a night. It was all planned out.
As we all know, things don't always go exactly as planned. An accident caused a major back-up on the way up, pushing our arrival time back a couple of hours. We eventually got up there and hurried to get everything situated, finally settling into our hotel room around nine thirty.
To say that the patrons in the room above us were loud would be an understatement. To say that this particular hotel took pride in the construction of their building, would be a bold face lie.
Every step they would take would send creaks and cracks throughout our room. It was as if the divide between us was made of paper.
"Hopefully they'll go to bed soon.." I sadly moaned to Kristi. "I'll never be able to sleep through this."
Well, That wasn't the case. Oh no, no, no. These people must enjoy exercising in the late hours of the night. It sounded like they were doing laps around their bed. Creaks and cracks sounded through the night, sending sadness and frustration through my veins.
"I can't believe this shit!" I cried in frustration.
"Why does this always happen to us..?" I moaned remembering similar past experiences that haunt me to this day. "So much for getting any sleep.."
At some point I managed to doze off, only to be jolted right out of my slumber by the alarm clock. It was too early. I was too tired. I didn't care about the damn race, I just wanted to go back to sleep. I was so tired as I got my race gear together that I was nauseous. Kristi wasn't much better.
We both whined to each other about how tired we were as we got our stuff in order and departed the "Paper Inn". Good riddance!
We arrived at Fort Tuthill County Park and got our area set up. I would be doing eight 13k loops underneath gigantic pine trees. Eight loops is a lot of loops. I knew that it would make this already tough race, even tougher. I could conveniently drop if I wanted to. It would be so easy. So tempting.
Thick dark clouds moved overhead and the smell of rain seasoned the crisp air. It felt like there were storms moving around up there, like they were waiting. Like they were waiting for me to start racing so they could pummel me.
"Geez, I hope it doesn't get stormy. For God sakes, please don't rain.." I whined. Everyone knows all about my luck with weather. I'm like a broken record talking about it already!!
I was in a daze. I fumbled around with my handhelds and waist belt. I couldn't think of what I needed to do. I was confused and sleepy and in no way feeling like racing.
"Are you okay?" Kristi asked me. "You seem out of it.."
"Yeah, I'm alright.." I answered. "Just not sure how this is going to go.."
The time to line up arrived quicker than I would have liked. A staggering eight brave runners gathered around the start as Jamil gave the pre-race briefing. We counted down and off we went!
Harold Benally and I lead the way. I bumped into Harold at packet pick-up the night before and like a good friend, I convinced him to sign up for the 108k! Harold is a talented runner, we've battled once before. I thought it would be nice to have some company out there, so I sold him on the idea. Yes, it was for selfish reasons!!
Harold and I cruised together, talking about our goals for the race. Our appreciation for the beautiful single track trail was equal. The towering pines spread shade over the majority of the course, while open vistas allowed incredible views of the surrounding mountain ranges. Short climbs were followed by small descents.
"These little climbs are going to become big one's before the end of the day!" I jokingly quipped to Harold.
The air began to warm up while thick dark clouds remained at bay. I felt out of breath and nauseous, but tried to focus on the beauty that was surrounding me. The two of us quickly passed through the Highlands aid station and continued on.
Toward the end of the loop, I realized that the second half of the loop was harder than the first. It's not like there was a lot of climbing involved or anything, it just felt hard. I was out of breath and this was just the beginning.
"Eight loops of this is going to take it's toll.." I remarked to Harold.
"Yeah, it is.." He agreed.
Harold and I ran the entire first loop together. We finished that first loop (8.4m) in 1:11:01 and were quickly on our way out for the second. I gave Kristi a quick hug and took off.
I was a few seconds ahead of Harold when I left. I continued to see him behind me for the majority of the second loop, but I was slowly extending my lead. As the air warmed up, my nausea became more severe. I finished up the second loop (16.8m) in 2:16:24 on a downward spiral.
"I don't feel very good today." I explained to Kristi as she filled my handhelds up. "It's hard to run up here."
I wasn't feeling like running anymore, which was a bad sign being that I was only 2 loops into this madness.
As I began the third loop, I crossed paths with Harold as he finished up his second.
"Keep it up!" I shouted at him in passing.
The third loop was not good. I went into a deep depression and questioned running all together.
"Why do you do this shit?" I asked myself.
At this point there were several other races going on and many other runners on the course. People shouting out "Good job!" or "Nice work!" peppered the airwaves. I tried to muster up some positivity, but the tank was on empty.
"I don't think I am going to be able to finish this race. There's no way. Not the way I am feeling. Not gonna happen." The voice in my head was badgering me.
As I neared the end of the third loop, I noticed my left achilles began to bother me. I was favoring my right leg.
"Oh great, now my achilles is screwy. This is just wonderful." I mumbled.
Then I caught a toe and went airborne. The timing couldn't have been any better. I was going fast down a steep hill when it happened. I did a full on superman down the hill!! I crashed to the bottom with a loud thud as the exclamation point!
A few runners in the area stopped and asked if I was okay.
I got up and brushed myself off. I had to be hurt, I flew fifteen feet through the air and had a crash landing on a pile of rocks. But other than a small cut on my palm, I was completely fine!
This was my opportunity. This was my chance. This was the perfect window to get hurt, drop out of the race and end the torture! But I was fine... The agony!!
I galloped into the turnaround, wrapping up the third loop (25.2m) in 3:27:25.
"I don't think I am going to finish the race." I whimpered to Kristi. "I feel so sick to my stomach, my achilles is in pain and I just took a spill. I just don't think it is going to happen."
Kristi remained silent and then calmly said "Make the right decision."
I grabbed my bottles, gave her a hug and began the fourth loop. There was no longer any sign of Harold. I took my time going up the initial climb that now felt much steeper than it did a few loops ago.
I trudged along at a steady pace despite the sickness brewing inside of my gut. I felt ill and exhausted. I let the pain take over my body and mind. I became negative and decided that this was going to be my last loop.
"This is it. I will finish this loop and call it a day." I made up my mind.
The majority of the fourth loop was as simple as putting one foot in front of the other. Each step I was closer to getting this ridiculous race over with. I crossed paths with Harold at an intersection in the loop. He was also in a bad place.
"How are you doing?" I asked.
"Slowing down..." He responded. He looked rough.
"Hang in there, bro. I wanted to drop last loop, I didn't want to go on." I explained.
"Really?" He asked, looking surprised by my admission.
"Yeah, man! Hang in there!"
I had a significant lead and just gave the second place runner a pep talk, but I was toasted. Plain and simple. Toasted.
As I neared the end of the fourth loop, I noticed the clouds begin to close in. The small patches of blue sky became swallowed up by darkness. The air began to cool.
I pushed myself a bit and finished off the fourth loop (33.6m) in 4:50:10. I asked Kristi to refill my bottles, but I knew I was finished. I had made my decision and I was done. That was it.
"I feel like shit, I can't go on.." I told her. "Done."
"Okay. Why don't you just sit down for a minute." Kristi replied.
I sat down and looked at my Garmin.
"I am done. My race is over. I am going to have to run 68 miles today, it's not going to happen.." I cried.
I was fully aware of the distance I signed up for, so I'm not sure why it seemed shocking to me. But these things happen.
I sat on that chair with my head hunched over my knees and whined. I was done. It was done.
"I can't continue." I said to Kristi.
It got silent. I sat there and pondered the repercussions of such a weak choice.
"I can't quit, I'll beat myself up too much if I do.." I sadly admitted. "I have no choice..."
I got my bottles, said goodbye and set off. I staggered forward for about a hundred yards before I came to a rumbling stop next to a port-a-potty. I sat on the ground, sick to my stomach and moaned.
A moment made of glass. I sat there contemplating the right move. I am not a quitter. Never. I mean besides the few times, but you know what I mean!
I got up and started to run. The initial climb, that was once an anthill, had morphed into Mount Everest. I made it to the top, gasping for breath. I was dizzy.
I stood there wavering back and fourth. The sky completely closed up and began to spit on me. Hail pelted my bare skin. The temperature dropped considerably and I began shivering.
"Oh man.. This might not be a good idea." I thought to myself.
But I love to race. I was excited to go run fast in the McDowell's and I just couldn't bail on it. I tried to talk myself out of it. But then I talked myself out of talking myself out of it.. I'm so damn stubborn!
"It will be fine.." I explained to Kristi after making the discovery. Apparently she was fully aware of the time between the two races, I was the only idiot in that department.
"I will just run the 54k easy. It will be like a long training run... A fully supported long training run."
I told myself that was the plan. That was what I was going to do. Problem is that I don't do races like that. I just don't. I RACE races! I knew I was only fooling myself.
As we lined up at the start of Adrenaline, I had a feeling of absolute calmness wash over me. I knew I was about to go HAM and I was willing to take that risk!
Right out of the gate, I charged. I charged with the same intensity for the next four hours (and 9 seconds) bringing home the W.
I raced with an energy I never knew existed. I put everything into it. And yet, there was more. I never really suffered. I never felt like I had to slow down. I finished the race and felt fresh as a daisy! It was an amazing feeling. An amazing race. An amazing experience.
With the high of Adrenaline still pumping through my bloodstream, I set my sights on the next order of business; FLGX Big Pine 108k.
No rest for the weary! Or mentally ill..
I took one day off and jumped right into training mode. I was surprised by how my body was able to bounce back. I felt great, even set a PR on the ascent of Mount Wrightson, a run I've done many times. It was looking and feeling like my two race doozy was going to work out after all.
I tapered down the week of the race. Nothing was significant about my easy runs that week, other than feeling kind of exhausted. Usually when I taper, I feel like I need to go run. I feel like I need to run far and I need to run fast.
Not on this taper. This taper was the opposite. It was as if 54k of racing on my body waited a week to rear it's ugly head. I was tired.
"I guess I will see how this unfolds.." I told myself.
I'm rarely skeptical about how I think I will perform in a race. Nervous, yes. Skeptical, not so much.
Kristi and I got our car packed up with far more than necessary and set off to Flag! We left around one and figured to get up there by five. We would pick up my bib, check-in to our hotel, grab some dinner and call it a night. It was all planned out.
As we all know, things don't always go exactly as planned. An accident caused a major back-up on the way up, pushing our arrival time back a couple of hours. We eventually got up there and hurried to get everything situated, finally settling into our hotel room around nine thirty.
To say that the patrons in the room above us were loud would be an understatement. To say that this particular hotel took pride in the construction of their building, would be a bold face lie.
Every step they would take would send creaks and cracks throughout our room. It was as if the divide between us was made of paper.
"Hopefully they'll go to bed soon.." I sadly moaned to Kristi. "I'll never be able to sleep through this."
Well, That wasn't the case. Oh no, no, no. These people must enjoy exercising in the late hours of the night. It sounded like they were doing laps around their bed. Creaks and cracks sounded through the night, sending sadness and frustration through my veins.
"I can't believe this shit!" I cried in frustration.
"Why does this always happen to us..?" I moaned remembering similar past experiences that haunt me to this day. "So much for getting any sleep.."
At some point I managed to doze off, only to be jolted right out of my slumber by the alarm clock. It was too early. I was too tired. I didn't care about the damn race, I just wanted to go back to sleep. I was so tired as I got my race gear together that I was nauseous. Kristi wasn't much better.
We both whined to each other about how tired we were as we got our stuff in order and departed the "Paper Inn". Good riddance!
We arrived at Fort Tuthill County Park and got our area set up. I would be doing eight 13k loops underneath gigantic pine trees. Eight loops is a lot of loops. I knew that it would make this already tough race, even tougher. I could conveniently drop if I wanted to. It would be so easy. So tempting.
Thick dark clouds moved overhead and the smell of rain seasoned the crisp air. It felt like there were storms moving around up there, like they were waiting. Like they were waiting for me to start racing so they could pummel me.
"Geez, I hope it doesn't get stormy. For God sakes, please don't rain.." I whined. Everyone knows all about my luck with weather. I'm like a broken record talking about it already!!
I was in a daze. I fumbled around with my handhelds and waist belt. I couldn't think of what I needed to do. I was confused and sleepy and in no way feeling like racing.
"Are you okay?" Kristi asked me. "You seem out of it.."
"Yeah, I'm alright.." I answered. "Just not sure how this is going to go.."
The time to line up arrived quicker than I would have liked. A staggering eight brave runners gathered around the start as Jamil gave the pre-race briefing. We counted down and off we went!
Harold Benally and I lead the way. I bumped into Harold at packet pick-up the night before and like a good friend, I convinced him to sign up for the 108k! Harold is a talented runner, we've battled once before. I thought it would be nice to have some company out there, so I sold him on the idea. Yes, it was for selfish reasons!!
Harold and I cruised together, talking about our goals for the race. Our appreciation for the beautiful single track trail was equal. The towering pines spread shade over the majority of the course, while open vistas allowed incredible views of the surrounding mountain ranges. Short climbs were followed by small descents.
"These little climbs are going to become big one's before the end of the day!" I jokingly quipped to Harold.
The air began to warm up while thick dark clouds remained at bay. I felt out of breath and nauseous, but tried to focus on the beauty that was surrounding me. The two of us quickly passed through the Highlands aid station and continued on.
Toward the end of the loop, I realized that the second half of the loop was harder than the first. It's not like there was a lot of climbing involved or anything, it just felt hard. I was out of breath and this was just the beginning.
"Eight loops of this is going to take it's toll.." I remarked to Harold.
"Yeah, it is.." He agreed.
Harold and I ran the entire first loop together. We finished that first loop (8.4m) in 1:11:01 and were quickly on our way out for the second. I gave Kristi a quick hug and took off.
I was a few seconds ahead of Harold when I left. I continued to see him behind me for the majority of the second loop, but I was slowly extending my lead. As the air warmed up, my nausea became more severe. I finished up the second loop (16.8m) in 2:16:24 on a downward spiral.
"I don't feel very good today." I explained to Kristi as she filled my handhelds up. "It's hard to run up here."
I wasn't feeling like running anymore, which was a bad sign being that I was only 2 loops into this madness.
As I began the third loop, I crossed paths with Harold as he finished up his second.
"Keep it up!" I shouted at him in passing.
The third loop was not good. I went into a deep depression and questioned running all together.
"Why do you do this shit?" I asked myself.
At this point there were several other races going on and many other runners on the course. People shouting out "Good job!" or "Nice work!" peppered the airwaves. I tried to muster up some positivity, but the tank was on empty.
"I don't think I am going to be able to finish this race. There's no way. Not the way I am feeling. Not gonna happen." The voice in my head was badgering me.
As I neared the end of the third loop, I noticed my left achilles began to bother me. I was favoring my right leg.
"Oh great, now my achilles is screwy. This is just wonderful." I mumbled.
Then I caught a toe and went airborne. The timing couldn't have been any better. I was going fast down a steep hill when it happened. I did a full on superman down the hill!! I crashed to the bottom with a loud thud as the exclamation point!
A few runners in the area stopped and asked if I was okay.
I got up and brushed myself off. I had to be hurt, I flew fifteen feet through the air and had a crash landing on a pile of rocks. But other than a small cut on my palm, I was completely fine!
This was my opportunity. This was my chance. This was the perfect window to get hurt, drop out of the race and end the torture! But I was fine... The agony!!
I galloped into the turnaround, wrapping up the third loop (25.2m) in 3:27:25.
"I don't think I am going to finish the race." I whimpered to Kristi. "I feel so sick to my stomach, my achilles is in pain and I just took a spill. I just don't think it is going to happen."
Kristi remained silent and then calmly said "Make the right decision."
I grabbed my bottles, gave her a hug and began the fourth loop. There was no longer any sign of Harold. I took my time going up the initial climb that now felt much steeper than it did a few loops ago.
I trudged along at a steady pace despite the sickness brewing inside of my gut. I felt ill and exhausted. I let the pain take over my body and mind. I became negative and decided that this was going to be my last loop.
"This is it. I will finish this loop and call it a day." I made up my mind.
The majority of the fourth loop was as simple as putting one foot in front of the other. Each step I was closer to getting this ridiculous race over with. I crossed paths with Harold at an intersection in the loop. He was also in a bad place.
"How are you doing?" I asked.
"Slowing down..." He responded. He looked rough.
"Hang in there, bro. I wanted to drop last loop, I didn't want to go on." I explained.
"Really?" He asked, looking surprised by my admission.
"Yeah, man! Hang in there!"
I had a significant lead and just gave the second place runner a pep talk, but I was toasted. Plain and simple. Toasted.
As I neared the end of the fourth loop, I noticed the clouds begin to close in. The small patches of blue sky became swallowed up by darkness. The air began to cool.
I pushed myself a bit and finished off the fourth loop (33.6m) in 4:50:10. I asked Kristi to refill my bottles, but I knew I was finished. I had made my decision and I was done. That was it.
"I feel like shit, I can't go on.." I told her. "Done."
"Okay. Why don't you just sit down for a minute." Kristi replied.
I sat down and looked at my Garmin.
"I am done. My race is over. I am going to have to run 68 miles today, it's not going to happen.." I cried.
I was fully aware of the distance I signed up for, so I'm not sure why it seemed shocking to me. But these things happen.
I sat on that chair with my head hunched over my knees and whined. I was done. It was done.
"I can't continue." I said to Kristi.
It got silent. I sat there and pondered the repercussions of such a weak choice.
"I can't quit, I'll beat myself up too much if I do.." I sadly admitted. "I have no choice..."
I got my bottles, said goodbye and set off. I staggered forward for about a hundred yards before I came to a rumbling stop next to a port-a-potty. I sat on the ground, sick to my stomach and moaned.
A moment made of glass. I sat there contemplating the right move. I am not a quitter. Never. I mean besides the few times, but you know what I mean!
I got up and started to run. The initial climb, that was once an anthill, had morphed into Mount Everest. I made it to the top, gasping for breath. I was dizzy.
I stood there wavering back and fourth. The sky completely closed up and began to spit on me. Hail pelted my bare skin. The temperature dropped considerably and I began shivering.
The cold forced me to move with more energy. I began to run faster and faster.
I sprinted forward with new found motivation... To quit!
"This is ridiculous!" I yelled!
My hands began to freeze up. I continued ahead, talking to everyone that I passed about the madness.
"Excuse me, I'm the idiot with no shirt on.."
The hail and rain raged on, causing the trail to become flooded. The mud became an issue, flying in every direction. I ran and ran. I ran through the muck, I was done with this shit..
Then all of a sudden, I realized I wasn't. I wasn't done. The storm had moved through and the cold weather put a little pep in my step!! I was cruising, splashing through puddles along the way. The air warmed up again and I regained feeling in my fingers.
I passed through the Highlands aid station and caught up with a runner by the name of Adam Sumner, who was racing the 54k. Adam latched on and the two of us cruised for a bit talking about the storm that just whaled on us. I became aware that I had a new energy level. I was running with some authority again.
I pulled away from Adam and continued to hold onto a reasonable pace, despite nausea wringing out my stomach like a soiled wash cloth.
"Maybe I can grind this thing out after all.." I thought to myself.
As I approached the turnaround, I got a dose of adrenaline. I was free from the thoughts of quitting for the first time in quite awhile. I began daydreaming of finishing the race. I thought about crossing the finish line and shouting "I did it!"
I galloped in wearing a small grin, wrapping up the fifth loop (41.9m) in 6:18:23.
I took a seat while Kristi refilled my bottles. I decided to "test-out" a new squeezable food product, which seemed like a brilliant idea at the time.. You know, since my stomach was more delicate than fine china.
After a quick dry heave, I got up and grabbed my bottles.
"Why do I do this shit?" I said to Kristi looking for some sort of condolence.
"Why do I do this shit?" She said.
I set off on the sixth loop feeling more confident than I had in quite awhile. I power hiked the first steep hill and as soon as I topped out, I began to gag. The confidence was short lived as I stumbled off the trail.
"Oh man.." I moaned. "I shouldn't of tested out that God-forsaken gel.. Scott Jurek lied to me."
I tried to throw up but couldn't muster up a thing. I got back on the trail and ran for a few hundred yards before collapsing to the ground again.
With all of my might, I tried to release the vile contents of my stomach. But nothing would happen. I dragged myself up and began to run again.
This was my new routine; Run, stagger off the trail to dry heave, run.
The temperature had risen again and I felt overheated, which intensified the nausea. Dark clouds swarmed around above, threatening another attack. I staggered forward.
Remarkably, I crossed paths with Harold once again in the small intersection of the loop. What were the chances of that?
"I just want to throw up.." I cried to him. "Is that to much to ask? But it won't happen. It just won't.." I was being serious, but was also trying to make both of us laugh. Trying to lighten it up a little.
Harold looked worked. He had picked up a pacer, but they were both walking. I had a huge lead and was no longer concerned with being caught. Finishing this thing however, that was still a major concern.
After both of us wished each other well, we continued on our individual battles.
I passed through the Highlands aid station without skipping a beat. I had spent the first half of the loop trying to throw up and hadn't eaten anything. The thought of putting something down my throat was enough to make me gag.
I began using other runners ahead of me as targets. A form of motivation to run. I would run as fast as I could, catch up, say hello, yada, yada, yada, I'd be on my way. One runner after another.
I soon caught up with a runner and pulled ahead. We chatted briefly and I picked up my pace to pull away. Wouldn't you know, so did he! He hung onto my heels and the two of us maintained a nice pace while chatting away.
It was just what I needed! I got to meet Shawn Cleary, a runner from Tempe. He was having a tough fourth and final loop of the 54k. We both helped each other out just by enjoying the company.
"I am really glad you passed by me.." Shawn said. "I was having a terrible time."
"You helped me as well!" I admitted. "I don't think I would have kept up the pace."
As we neared the end of the loop, I began to pull away from Shawn.
I sprinted forward with new found motivation... To quit!
"This is ridiculous!" I yelled!
My hands began to freeze up. I continued ahead, talking to everyone that I passed about the madness.
"Excuse me, I'm the idiot with no shirt on.."
The hail and rain raged on, causing the trail to become flooded. The mud became an issue, flying in every direction. I ran and ran. I ran through the muck, I was done with this shit..
Then all of a sudden, I realized I wasn't. I wasn't done. The storm had moved through and the cold weather put a little pep in my step!! I was cruising, splashing through puddles along the way. The air warmed up again and I regained feeling in my fingers.
I passed through the Highlands aid station and caught up with a runner by the name of Adam Sumner, who was racing the 54k. Adam latched on and the two of us cruised for a bit talking about the storm that just whaled on us. I became aware that I had a new energy level. I was running with some authority again.
I pulled away from Adam and continued to hold onto a reasonable pace, despite nausea wringing out my stomach like a soiled wash cloth.
"Maybe I can grind this thing out after all.." I thought to myself.
As I approached the turnaround, I got a dose of adrenaline. I was free from the thoughts of quitting for the first time in quite awhile. I began daydreaming of finishing the race. I thought about crossing the finish line and shouting "I did it!"
I galloped in wearing a small grin, wrapping up the fifth loop (41.9m) in 6:18:23.
I took a seat while Kristi refilled my bottles. I decided to "test-out" a new squeezable food product, which seemed like a brilliant idea at the time.. You know, since my stomach was more delicate than fine china.
After a quick dry heave, I got up and grabbed my bottles.
"Why do I do this shit?" I said to Kristi looking for some sort of condolence.
"Why do I do this shit?" She said.
I set off on the sixth loop feeling more confident than I had in quite awhile. I power hiked the first steep hill and as soon as I topped out, I began to gag. The confidence was short lived as I stumbled off the trail.
"Oh man.." I moaned. "I shouldn't of tested out that God-forsaken gel.. Scott Jurek lied to me."
I tried to throw up but couldn't muster up a thing. I got back on the trail and ran for a few hundred yards before collapsing to the ground again.
With all of my might, I tried to release the vile contents of my stomach. But nothing would happen. I dragged myself up and began to run again.
This was my new routine; Run, stagger off the trail to dry heave, run.
The temperature had risen again and I felt overheated, which intensified the nausea. Dark clouds swarmed around above, threatening another attack. I staggered forward.
Remarkably, I crossed paths with Harold once again in the small intersection of the loop. What were the chances of that?
"I just want to throw up.." I cried to him. "Is that to much to ask? But it won't happen. It just won't.." I was being serious, but was also trying to make both of us laugh. Trying to lighten it up a little.
Harold looked worked. He had picked up a pacer, but they were both walking. I had a huge lead and was no longer concerned with being caught. Finishing this thing however, that was still a major concern.
After both of us wished each other well, we continued on our individual battles.
I passed through the Highlands aid station without skipping a beat. I had spent the first half of the loop trying to throw up and hadn't eaten anything. The thought of putting something down my throat was enough to make me gag.
I began using other runners ahead of me as targets. A form of motivation to run. I would run as fast as I could, catch up, say hello, yada, yada, yada, I'd be on my way. One runner after another.
I soon caught up with a runner and pulled ahead. We chatted briefly and I picked up my pace to pull away. Wouldn't you know, so did he! He hung onto my heels and the two of us maintained a nice pace while chatting away.
It was just what I needed! I got to meet Shawn Cleary, a runner from Tempe. He was having a tough fourth and final loop of the 54k. We both helped each other out just by enjoying the company.
"I am really glad you passed by me.." Shawn said. "I was having a terrible time."
"You helped me as well!" I admitted. "I don't think I would have kept up the pace."
As we neared the end of the loop, I began to pull away from Shawn.
All of a sudden the sky closed back up and the clouds dropped down upon us.
"Oh man, it's going to get ugly.." I thought.
A flash popped uncomfortably close. I braced myself, but was still shaken to the core by the thunder that followed.
"Is this the end?" one runner yelled.
"No, just another race I'm a part of!" I shouted as I ran by.
As I cruised in, the rain began falling harder. The temperature dropped. The wind whipped around. Lightning popped. It was madness.
I finished up the sixth loop (50.3m) as the apocalypse neared in a time of 7:49:17.
"I can't believe this is happening again!" I shouted at Kristi. "I don't even want to do this anymore. Ridiculous."
Everything was soaked. Kristi was soaked. She had packed everything up except the cooler, my running gear and food. The wind was blowing and the rain was pounding down.
"Harold dropped. You can sit underneath a tent and wait this thing out and still win it.." Kristi replied.
"Why does she have to be so damn supportive and encouraging?" I thought to myself.
"Are you going to be okay?" I asked.
"Don't worry about me, worry about you." She replied.
This chick was serious. I was going to have to head back into the storm, she left me no choice. The nerve!
"Okay, gimme my shirt and arm sleeves.." I asked.
I threw my shirt on and slipped on some arm sleeves. I knew they'd pretty much be useless, but I didn't have anything else with me. I decided last minute to leave my rain shell at home.. I guess past experience has taught me NOTHING!
I grabbed my bottles, gave Kristi a hug and staggered over to the aid station.
Knowing that I hadn't eaten much in the last couple hours, I nibbled on a bean burrito while the rain whaled on me. It was a precious moment.
Jamil walked over to me and smiled.
"I am so tired of this shit!" I barked at him.
"What?" He responded with nothing but seriousness written on his face.
I am still not sure whether Jamil honestly didn't know what I meant or if he was just playing stupid. Either way, dude is mysterious!
"The weather!!" I screamed!
He started laughing and so did I.
"You want a shell?" He offered, peeling off his rain jacket.
"Hell yeah, man!" I accepted (for the record, he was wearing two shells).
"You're about to have some really nice weather.." Jamil informed me.
I took off on the seventh loop thinking he must be out of his mind.
"Really nice weather.. Yeah."
It was exciting and invigorating to start that seventh loop! I knew that the next loop would be the LAST loop! I felt pretty damn legit.
Moments after I topped the first climb, the rain began to let up. I took the shell off and tied it to my waist. A cool breeze replaced the whipping wind and flying rain. Creases in the clouds allowed sunlight to spray majestic rays upon the tree tops.
"Really nice weather..." I thought to myself. "The weather whisperer was right!"
The remainder of the seventh loop was pretty much easy going and besides some muddy spots, great running conditions. Ultra running is such an amazing journey of emotions. I could see the light shining in my eyes. I lost all the aches and pains that had plagued me for so long.
Okay, I lost most of the aches and pains that had plagued me for so long. I could smell the finish.
I wrapped up the seventh loop (58.7m) in 9:18.
I had arrived at the "sacred" final loop!
Conversations were short and sweet at the turnaround as the excitement of finishing was building. Kristi handed me my bottles filled with fresh, thirst-quenching ice water. A flawless day of crewing was complete!
I latched onto a rhythm that worked for me as I began the final loop. I was spent. Just spent. I needed to focus on running. That was all I needed to think about. Run. So simple, yet so difficult.
I passed through the Highlands aid station for the last time, grabbed a slice of watermelon and carried on. A couple miles to the finish, I realized that going under 11 hours was within grasp.
"Run it out.." I mumbled.
I put my head down and picked up my pace.
I ran and ran. I approached the finish. The excitement increased. I began sprinting.
"Am I going to be one of those guys?" I asked myself. "Flying through the finish like a bat outta hell.."
"Hell yeah I am!"
I shot through the finish line (67.88m) in 10:53:03!!!
It was over. A seemingly impossible feat was accomplished. I stood there, out of breath. I couldn't believe I was able to do it and at the same time, it seemed like just another day on the run. Another day in the mountains. Another day doing what I am so unbelievably blessed to do!
I soaked in the moment.
"Oh man, it's going to get ugly.." I thought.
A flash popped uncomfortably close. I braced myself, but was still shaken to the core by the thunder that followed.
"Is this the end?" one runner yelled.
"No, just another race I'm a part of!" I shouted as I ran by.
As I cruised in, the rain began falling harder. The temperature dropped. The wind whipped around. Lightning popped. It was madness.
I finished up the sixth loop (50.3m) as the apocalypse neared in a time of 7:49:17.
"I can't believe this is happening again!" I shouted at Kristi. "I don't even want to do this anymore. Ridiculous."
Everything was soaked. Kristi was soaked. She had packed everything up except the cooler, my running gear and food. The wind was blowing and the rain was pounding down.
"Harold dropped. You can sit underneath a tent and wait this thing out and still win it.." Kristi replied.
"Why does she have to be so damn supportive and encouraging?" I thought to myself.
"Are you going to be okay?" I asked.
"Don't worry about me, worry about you." She replied.
This chick was serious. I was going to have to head back into the storm, she left me no choice. The nerve!
"Okay, gimme my shirt and arm sleeves.." I asked.
I threw my shirt on and slipped on some arm sleeves. I knew they'd pretty much be useless, but I didn't have anything else with me. I decided last minute to leave my rain shell at home.. I guess past experience has taught me NOTHING!
I grabbed my bottles, gave Kristi a hug and staggered over to the aid station.
Knowing that I hadn't eaten much in the last couple hours, I nibbled on a bean burrito while the rain whaled on me. It was a precious moment.
Jamil walked over to me and smiled.
"I am so tired of this shit!" I barked at him.
"What?" He responded with nothing but seriousness written on his face.
I am still not sure whether Jamil honestly didn't know what I meant or if he was just playing stupid. Either way, dude is mysterious!
"The weather!!" I screamed!
He started laughing and so did I.
"You want a shell?" He offered, peeling off his rain jacket.
"Hell yeah, man!" I accepted (for the record, he was wearing two shells).
"You're about to have some really nice weather.." Jamil informed me.
I took off on the seventh loop thinking he must be out of his mind.
"Really nice weather.. Yeah."
It was exciting and invigorating to start that seventh loop! I knew that the next loop would be the LAST loop! I felt pretty damn legit.
Moments after I topped the first climb, the rain began to let up. I took the shell off and tied it to my waist. A cool breeze replaced the whipping wind and flying rain. Creases in the clouds allowed sunlight to spray majestic rays upon the tree tops.
"Really nice weather..." I thought to myself. "The weather whisperer was right!"
The remainder of the seventh loop was pretty much easy going and besides some muddy spots, great running conditions. Ultra running is such an amazing journey of emotions. I could see the light shining in my eyes. I lost all the aches and pains that had plagued me for so long.
Okay, I lost most of the aches and pains that had plagued me for so long. I could smell the finish.
I wrapped up the seventh loop (58.7m) in 9:18.
I had arrived at the "sacred" final loop!
Conversations were short and sweet at the turnaround as the excitement of finishing was building. Kristi handed me my bottles filled with fresh, thirst-quenching ice water. A flawless day of crewing was complete!
I latched onto a rhythm that worked for me as I began the final loop. I was spent. Just spent. I needed to focus on running. That was all I needed to think about. Run. So simple, yet so difficult.
I passed through the Highlands aid station for the last time, grabbed a slice of watermelon and carried on. A couple miles to the finish, I realized that going under 11 hours was within grasp.
"Run it out.." I mumbled.
I put my head down and picked up my pace.
I ran and ran. I approached the finish. The excitement increased. I began sprinting.
"Am I going to be one of those guys?" I asked myself. "Flying through the finish like a bat outta hell.."
"Hell yeah I am!"
I shot through the finish line (67.88m) in 10:53:03!!!
It was over. A seemingly impossible feat was accomplished. I stood there, out of breath. I couldn't believe I was able to do it and at the same time, it seemed like just another day on the run. Another day in the mountains. Another day doing what I am so unbelievably blessed to do!
I soaked in the moment.
A tale of two races. Two races as far different as they could possibly be.
Adrenaline was fittingly just that; Adrenaline. I rode a high that lasted the entire race. Never a doubt. I knew from the second the race began that I was going to destroy the course and the competition.
Big Pine was a roller coaster of emotion. I dipped into lows so severe that I can't find words that would adequately describe how miserable I felt. I was all but finished, but somehow found a way to continue. It was a journey of self discovery.
Winning both races was a nice touch.
I would like to thank Kristi for being there to support me, to push me to never settle. To love me despite my insanity. You are an amazing person. Your selflessness is something to be admired.
Also, a huge thanks to Aravaipa Running for these incredible events that we are all so lucky to participate in. I'm a proud member of the Aravaipa Racing Team and it's an honor to represent this amazing family!!
The additional support provided by UltrAspire, Pearl Izumi, Feetures! and Honey Stinger is greatly appreciated!!
Until next time...
Here are some numbers for your noggin' with the combined race statistics;
Total distance- 100.66 miles
Total time- 14:53:12
Average pace- 8:52 per mile
Total elevation gain- 6,880 feet
Amount of times I dry heaved at Big Pine- 27ish
Number of wins- 2
Until next time...
Here are some numbers for your noggin' with the combined race statistics;
Total distance- 100.66 miles
Total time- 14:53:12
Average pace- 8:52 per mile
Total elevation gain- 6,880 feet
Amount of times I dry heaved at Big Pine- 27ish
Number of wins- 2
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| Finishing up Adrenaline! |
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| Wrapping up Big Pine!! |
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| Congratulated by Rob Krar himself! (pulling for you at Western!) |
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| Lizard Loot! |
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| Drink from the cup of life!! |
