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"Hey, Cuz, whaddya think you are doing in my car?"

I am half drunk and laying in the backseat of a car. There are a couple of guys looking at me through the window.

"What the... How did I get here?" I mumble.. I lift my lifeless body up and begin trying to explain.

"This is my buddies car, he said I could sleep in it.." I slur.

"This ain't your buddies car, this is my car, Cuz, now get your ass out of it." He said while tapping the window with some sort of metal pipe.

"Okay, man. Okay." I open up the door and step out. My legs feel like they are gonna buckle. 

Both men grab me and shove me into the side of the vehicle. 

I am forced to hang out with my newly acquired friends. The details are less than glamorous. As terrifying as it sounds, I had no fear. No emotion. Blank.

Eventually, I would be able to leave. I stumble off, down a dark alley. It's the middle of the night and I have nowhere to go. No one to call. Nothing in my pocket. I go and sit on a bench at a bus stop. I look up at the traffic lights. I am at the corner of Oracle and Grant. Location has no meaning. 

I am tired. "Why? How did my life end up like this?" I try to cry. I can't. I can't even cry. My soul has dried up, leaving nothing but darkness inside of me. A void. 

"You did this to yourself, Sion." I say under my breath. "This is the life you chose. You squandered all your gifts. You had everything you ever needed, only to piss it all away. You are a piece of shit. You don't deserve shit."

I stagger on, in search of a place to sleep. I eventually find an abandoned house and I climb through a broken window. There is a pile of old clothes on the floor. I push them together doing my best to replicate a bed. I curl up on top of them. I close my eyes and drift away... Inside my mind, I run away.

>>

I am now several years removed from that grim day. Those grim days. The memories I wish to forget are the very memories that I must hold onto. I hold onto them with all of my might. Making sure to never lose sight of how it used to be. 

Somewhere along the line, I had a moment of clarity. I chose to change my life. To have a life. Dare I divulge such dark secrets about myself? About how it used to be? About how I used to live? 

It's brought me to a life that I could only dream about. That I dreamt about while laying on a pile of dirty laundry. I discovered running and it gave me meaning. I met someone that would help me follow my dreams, that would love me. No questions asked. 

A void has been filled.

I will toe the line at the Old Pueblo 50 Mile Endurance Run for the third consecutive year on Saturday. I have lofty goals going into the race. Yet, I feel more relaxed than ever. The outcome will all be part of the glorious road that I run. 

Last week I got offered a sponsorship from Honey Stinger. I am honored to represent a company that I truly stand behind. This is just a small step in the direction of the dreams that I have. The dreams that I work for. 

The dreams that I run for.