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"Hey, Cuz, whaddya think you are doing in my car?"

I am half drunk and laying in the backseat of a car. There are a couple of guys looking at me through the window.

"What the... How did I get here?" I mumble.. I lift my lifeless body up and begin trying to explain.

"This is my buddies car, he said I could sleep in it.." I slur.

"This ain't your buddies car, this is my car, Cuz, now get your ass out of it." He said while tapping the window with some sort of metal pipe.

"Okay, man. Okay." I open up the door and step out. My legs feel like they are gonna buckle. 

Both men grab me and shove me into the side of the vehicle. 

I am forced to hang out with my newly acquired friends. The details are less than glamorous. As terrifying as it sounds, I had no fear. No emotion. Blank.

Eventually, I would be able to leave. I stumble off, down a dark alley. It's the middle of the night and I have nowhere to go. No one to call. Nothing in my pocket. I go and sit on a bench at a bus stop. I look up at the traffic lights. I am at the corner of Oracle and Grant. Location has no meaning. 

I am tired. "Why? How did my life end up like this?" I try to cry. I can't. I can't even cry. My soul has dried up, leaving nothing but darkness inside of me. A void. 

"You did this to yourself, Sion." I say under my breath. "This is the life you chose. You squandered all your gifts. You had everything you ever needed, only to piss it all away. You are a piece of shit. You don't deserve shit."

I stagger on, in search of a place to sleep. I eventually find an abandoned house and I climb through a broken window. There is a pile of old clothes on the floor. I push them together doing my best to replicate a bed. I curl up on top of them. I close my eyes and drift away... Inside my mind, I run away.

>>

I am now several years removed from that grim day. Those grim days. The memories I wish to forget are the very memories that I must hold onto. I hold onto them with all of my might. Making sure to never lose sight of how it used to be. 

Somewhere along the line, I had a moment of clarity. I chose to change my life. To have a life. Dare I divulge such dark secrets about myself? About how it used to be? About how I used to live? 

It's brought me to a life that I could only dream about. That I dreamt about while laying on a pile of dirty laundry. I discovered running and it gave me meaning. I met someone that would help me follow my dreams, that would love me. No questions asked. 

A void has been filled.

I will toe the line at the Old Pueblo 50 Mile Endurance Run for the third consecutive year on Saturday. I have lofty goals going into the race. Yet, I feel more relaxed than ever. The outcome will all be part of the glorious road that I run. 

Last week I got offered a sponsorship from Honey Stinger. I am honored to represent a company that I truly stand behind. This is just a small step in the direction of the dreams that I have. The dreams that I work for. 

The dreams that I run for.

AZ Trail Race

After a very rocky finish to 2013, I was able to open up 2014 on a high note with a third place finish at the Coldwater Rumble 52k. It felt like I got that 'monkey off my back' and I regained some of the confidence I had lost.

Now it was time to gear up for my third stab at the Old Pueblo 50 Mile Endurance Run. No more races until then, I had decided. That was until the race director for Everyone Runs, Steve Landau sent me a message that went something like this; "You should stop spending all of your money in Phoenix and do The AZ Trail Race." 

Steve also happens to be a good friend of mine and I am a member of 'Team Everyone Runs', so it got me thinking..

In 2010 I ran on trails for my first time at The AZ Trail Race 8 Miler. I ended up coming in tenth place overall and won an award for claiming second in my age group. It was the first time I realized that maybe I could be a fast, competitive runner. I had not entered that race with intentions of winning anything, I was just enjoying my fourth race ever. I received that award and never looked back. Now I enter EVERY race with intentions of winning. My affinity for trail running has since blossomed. It is my life. So needless to say, this race has a special spot in my heart.

As an added bonus, my fellow ultra-running, TTR'ing, sport-loving, shit-talking good friend of mine, Michael Duer, was making his "comeback to race-ing" debut there.. This proposition just made sense!

This race is a sell out every year but Steve said he would get me in. So, at the last minute, I decided to go for it. How well I would perform in a race that was so much shorter in distance and faster in speed than I have become accustomed to was a mystery to me. It's been a long time since I did a race this short. Besides 'Run With The Roosters 5 miler' over the summer, the last one I did was the AZ Trail Race a year ago. I have become so wrapped up in my ultra-running that I really haven't focused much on speed work (something I should do anyway). 

I was nervous about the decision to do it, for fear I might have a terrible day and disappoint myself. But what's life without the chance of failure! 

I woke up on race day very relaxed. I really didn't know what to expect in regards to my performance, but I did know it would be over fairly quick. I decided to ditch the trail shoes and throw on my Adidas Adios racers. "Time to go fast!" I thought to myself. Kristi and I arrived at the Colossal Cave Mountain Park and met up with Michael Duer and his wife, Kristi (yes, they have the same name). The two Kristi's hung out while Duer and I did a little shake out run.

Duer and I discussing some race strategy

Duer and I accepting "secret" strategy tips from the race director himself

"How do you feel?" I asked Duer, "I don't know, I haven't raced in soooo long! I was up all night thinking about this.." Duer has started out the season looking strong as ever. After dealing with multiple injuries for sometime, it's great to see him back. "You'll do great, your running really well" I encouraged him. "You should kill it!" He emphatically told me. Time would tell.

It was time to line up. "Stay relaxed" I kept telling myself during the National Anthem. "Meet the moment." 

"Dude, it's only 8 miles.."

After wishing Duer luck, I put on my game face and focused. The countdown dwindled down to zero and the race was on!

Blast off!

There is a steep hill to start the race. I let a group of about four runners lead the way as I tried to settle into my rhythm. As we topped out I realized the pace was much slower than I had anticipated, which I was happy about. No one jumped way ahead, so I let it stay that way. As we made our way back down the hill and onto the trail, I had moved up into second place.

Surveying the comp early on

We hit the AZ Trail and began enjoying some single-track delight. The weather was crisp and it made for perfect running conditions. The runner in first place had already began to slow down as we zig-zagged up the trail. I knew if I let him stay in the lead, I would have no chance at a PR. So I decided, "what the hell, go for it.." 

I had told myself to stay conservative, but this pace was too slow. I had to make a push and I was willing to take the risk. "Excuse me sir" I said as I cruised around him. I took over first place and upped the pace a few notches. Switching trail shoes for the racers was a great idea. I was flying!

I felt great. I was enjoying the trail and the picturesque views as I trotted along. The course isn't overwhelmingly technical, but it does go up and down a lot which takes a toll as the race wears on. After a couple of miles, myself and two other runners had made some separation. It was quite apparent that it would be a race between us three for the win. 

As I approached the first aid station I realized that there was only one runner close behind me. The third runner had fallen back. I had already decided that I would do this race without taking a drop of water or anything else for that matter, so I didn't even slow as I passed by. 

This next section of the race is probably the toughest. It's a climb for the next couple miles and I began to feel a little fatigued for the first time. It may have been in my best interest to let the youngster on my heels pass, rather than allowing him to sit back and draft off me. Instead, I continued on. That would be my only mistake of the day. 

Around 5 miles in, we hit a dirt road that looped back to the AZ Trail. This race is essentially an out and back minus a couple of detours included. As we approached a downhill section I began to think, "this kid is gonna smash the descent and leave me behind. Dammit, I should have let him pass earlier instead of allowing him to save all of his energy.." 

As I become more experienced at running races, I am learning that while a lot goes into how fit you are, there is also a great deal of strategy involved. On this day, I didn't have the best strategy. As soon as we hit the descent, he blew by me. I just didn't have the leg speed to keep up with him, so I made my wisest decision of the day, I let him go. I figured I might have a shot at him later or I might not, but I wasn't going to risk losing second place and a chance at a PR.

I watched him run off and regained control of my breathing. I was holding onto a 6:45 pace and felt pretty comfortable. Then I entered the part of the race where you deal with all of the runners going the opposite direction. There were a few instances where I was forced to the side of the trail in order to avert a head-on collision. Good times!

Once I got past all of the mayhem, I settled back into my groove. And I was definitely feeling solid. "Looks like a second place finish is in the cards!" I thought to myself, followed by "you should have been smarter, you would've won the race!!" 

Unless I win, I am never satisfied. It's in my nature. I feed off it. I love it. 

With about a mile to go I took a peek behind me and I saw the third place runner in the distance. He had made up some ground. "It's time to give it EVERYTHING!" I reprimanded myself. I picked up my pace and put the pedal to the metal. 

The last stretch to the finish is a steady climb and I was grinding gears. My pace continued to get quicker as I closed in on the finish. I was now fully in control of second place. I pushed myself as hard as I could and flew through the finish in 55:28, good for second place overall and a 27 second PR!!

Duer came rumbling through the finish soon after, securing a solid fifth place finish. Welcome back, Micheal Duer! A couple of ultra-runners runnin' it fast! 

As it turned out, the last mile of the race was my fastest of the day. That allowed me to close the gap on the first place finisher, who got me by less than a minute. Congrats to the youngster from South Dakota (I think). 

Thanks to Fleet Feet Tucson and Everyone Runs for putting on this great trail race every year. It will forever be one of my favorites!

Flying into 2014!!