Running My Life: August 2014

The rain is beginning to fall. It continues to fall harder as the night wears on.

"I can't believe this shit.." I moan. "A torrential rain storm."

I'm laying on a thin piece of foam that separates me from a concrete slab on the porch of a friends house. The thin mesh covering the porch is no match against the sheets of rain pounding down on me. I am drenched. The foam I am laying on is absorbing water like a sponge. I lay there wishing for a better life.

I'm surrounded by all of my belongings, everything I own. Everything that I own is right here with me on the porch. It too is getting wet.

Earlier in the day I had talked my friend into helping me move out of my apartment. I had been evicted and I had to vacate before they changed the locks. Before they locked me out. He offered to help, along with another friend who had a truck.

We loaded everything I owned onto the bed of the truck but I had nowhere to go..

"Can I just crash at your place, just for a few days...?"

He wasn't thrilled with the idea but allowed me to make use of his porch.

Everything I own is right here on this porch. This is it. I'm surrounded by all of it, the treasures and the trash.

A box of old baseball cards that I had since I was a child. I carried them everywhere with me, hoping one day that they would be valuable enough to make me rich.

A pair of skis. I was going to be a professional skier. I loved to ski. I hadn't skied in a long time but I still had my skis.

Even a life story I had written was right there on the porch. It must have been a hundred pages long. I wrote it while staying in one of the many rehabs I had patronized. It was an assignment that my counselor gave to me.

I read it to my counselor. He said that in the thirty years he had been counseling, that it was the most articulate writing he had ever heard. He said I had a talent.

The next day that counselor would suffer a heart attack and die.

"Why?" I asked myself. "Why is my life so troubled?"

I had some shelving units that were once in my childhood home also sitting on the wet porch. They once sat in the very room I grew up in. I still had the shelves.

What I didn't have was a home.

I remember laying there trying to sort things out. Trying to patch things up. I did this while laying in a puddle of water. I did this while laying in a puddle of tears.

Eventually the rain water would flood the porch. A search for solutions would flood my mind. Lost wouldn't begin to describe my existence.

I choose to hold onto to such horrifying memories, remembering that they are my greatest asset. Without the memories, I lay vulnerable to more suffering.

Through the wreckage I found freedom. Through the freedom, I found a home.

I am no longer laying on a porch full of tears.

My body is sizzling. My mind is fried. I put one foot in front of the other. One foot in front of the other.

"One more loop.." I moan. "One more loop and I'll win this thing."

Suddenly a gust of wind slaps me across the face jolting me out of the daze that had enveloped me.

"What the..?"

I am sprayed with sand, all over my body and into my eyes. A rain drop hits my skin and quickly turns to steam.

----

If running has taught me anything, it's taught me that the more I think I understand, the more I realize I have yet to learn.

I had a phenomenal race at Adrenaline. I ran my first ever sub-4 50k and continued on for another 14k feeling like the energizer bunny. I won the race but more importantly, I gained more confidence in my abilities. I had something to build on.

I probably wouldn't have decided to race the Vertigo 63k had it not been for my training partner and good friend, Korey Konga. I had a great race a few weeks prior, it was time to focus on the Mogollon 100. But Korey was registered for the 31k and I really enjoy the Insomniac Series of night races that Aravaipa Running puts on.

The final element that helped me pull the trigger was the fact that I had run Vertigo last year and had a sub-par race. I didn't run my race and it ended up ruining my day. I wanted a little redemption at Vertigo.

So I signed up. Korey and I put in some grueling runs in the heat to help us prepare for the smoldering temps. Last year it was very hot but once the sun dropped, the temperature dropped as well. It was still hot but made it more bearable. I assured Korey that he would enjoy the conditions once the sun set.

I was wrong.

So the two of us set out to the White Tanks on a blistering July afternoon. When we arrived it was even hotter than I expected. It was a furnace.

"Damn, it is going to be a hot one.." Korey said.

"Yeah, this right here.. This is ridiculous.." I responded.

We mingled with some of the others while killing time before the race(s) started. Jamil had made the suggestion to carry enough ice water to pour some over our head throughout the race. That idea made sense to me. That idea was vital.

Nick made the announcement that it was time for the 63k runners to line up. Korey wished me luck (the 31k started a half hour later) and I made my way to the start.

I've often mentioned of that special feeling I get when I toe the line of a race. It is a sacred feeling. A moment of time that puts hours and hours of hard work into the forefront of existence. I live for this feeling. I crave it.

I love to race!

The countdown ensued and we were off! I promised myself to run my race, so I eased into a nice pace. I watched young Cristian Rios fly ahead of the pack and make separation. Last year I got sucked into a sprint with Cristian, this year, I knew better.

"This kid is gonna blow up.." I thought to myself. "Run your race."

I trotted along with Michael Carson and another runner. We cruised at an comfortable pace while maintaining a conversation. The heat was brutal as the sun began to settle behind the mountains.

About two miles into the race I noticed Cristian in the distance, he had already slowed to a walk. Carson and I quickly caught up.

"You alright? Carson asked.

"No." Cristian answered.

"Do you need anything?"

He shook his head.

We continued on.

As soon as I left the North Ridge aid station I began getting some gnarly stomach cramps.

"I hope these fade.." I thought. "Or I'm in for a long night."

Carson and I finished up the first loop together, grabbed a few things from the aid station and quickly continued on our way.

Fairly early into the second loop the cramps got increasingly more severe. I decided to let Carson pull away and focused on my breathing. The cramps were on both sides of my stomach. It was wrenching pain.

"I can't do this.." I sadly thought. "I'm gonna have to drop. I'm just going to have to.."

Being negative so early in a race is bad news. My attitude had plummeted. The cramps and heat were sucking the life out of me. The combination was ugly.

The remainder of the second loop was a grind. Darkness replaced light and my headlamp paved my way. I was sure I was going to drop but as soon as I made my way into Aravaipa's Ultracity, I got rejuvenated.

I refueled, loaded up on some Honey Stinger Chews and departed.

Loop three was no better than loop two. The heat was not going away. Not at all. Neither were the cramps. I began using Jamil's suggested "ice-water douse" technique and it was helpful. It would cool my core temperature down briefly, allowing me to feel comfortable if only for a few minutes. But all I could think about was dropping.

"Pull the plug, Sion." I mumbled. "This just ain't worth it.."

If I was going to finish this race, I was going to have to suffer. This race was nothing like my last race. This was going to be an all-out sufferfest!

I finished up the third loop and Nick announced that Carson was now eight minutes ahead. Eight minutes is a substantial lead, which made me want to quit even more. However, I did feel like maybe he was going too hard, that it may catch up with him. So reluctantly, I set off on loop number four.

Nothing was fun about this. I hurt. I felt like I was having heat stroke. I wanted to stop. But I didn't. I kept trudging along with cramps that decided to make a home for themselves in the pit of my stomach. I kept going.

Some lightning off in the distance began popping off. More and more of the flashes lit up the sky. I tried focusing on the beauty of our planet. I watched the lightning illuminate the clouds, painting the dark sky blood-orange. For a minute, I felt comfortable.

I continued battling and soon made my way to Ultracity, finishing up the fourth loop. Korey was there and asked what I needed.

"Did you win?" I asked

"Yes. What do you need?" He responded.

Glad to hear that he had won his race, I wanted to know where I stood in my race.

"Water. How far ahead is Carson?"

"Carson dropped. You're taking over first place."

This was music to my ears. I had run my race and it was paying off. Carson walked over to me and gave me five. I had two more loops to do. I felt more invigorated than I had the entire evening. I was ready to win this thing!

I loaded up and bolted out of there. I knew that I had a large enough lead that if I just stayed relaxed, I would stay in front. I found a nice rhythm and consistent pace.

The lightning strikes were almost non-stop at this point. The wind was picking up as well. I hit the North Ridge aid station and quickly carried on. I began to daydream. I thought of finishing the race, of winning the race. It was so hot. The heat just didn't want to go away.

It wouldn't go away...

----

"Rain!" I shouted aloud. "Nice!"

The drops began falling more rapidly and the wind whipped around. Only it didn't have that "blow-dryer" feel to it anymore. There was now a crisp-coolness to it, which I appreciated immensely. The temperature suddenly dropped and running conditions became almost perfect.

"This is unbelievable!"

I picked up my pace and felt better than ever. I was ready for the last loop!

As I came around the corner and made the final approach to Ultracity, I realized it looked darker than before. It looked different.

I got closer and realized that everything was being broken down, packed up.

"What the hell?" I thought. "What's going on..?"

Korey was standing at what used to be the finish line.

"It's over, man."

"It's over?" I thought to myself.

But I wanted to fly through the finish. I wanted to throw my hands in the air and scream "I won!" I wanted a damn champagne shower!

Alas, it was not meant to be.

He snapped a picture of my watch and the race was over. It was over the moment I was ready to race!

Apparently the wind had become so severe that it was was reeking havoc on Aravaipa's Ultracity, not to mention making conditions dangerous. The Coury brothers were forced to shut the race down.

This is the third race I have participated in this year that was affected by severe weather. Old Pueblo, Zane Grey and Vertigo. A torrential rainstorm, a blizzard and a haboob. Bizarre.

As always, a big thanks to Aravaipa Running and all the helpful volunteers! I never leave these events disappointed. Congrats to everyone out in the blistering heat pushing themselves beyond their comfort zone. That's what it's all about!

As disappointing as it was to not get to finish the race off, I completely understand and respect the decision.

It is the experience that I take home with me.