Activated Charcoal

But I have writers block, I can't think of anything to write. Well, why not write about not being able to write. I have a head full of ideas and stories to tell... But where to begin?

Following my adventurous single footed trek from Lake Pleasant to Crown King, I was filled with optimism and denial. I was able to walk fine after the race, so I felt like my foot was healing up. So what if I just spent over 5 hours beating my crippled foot. I finished the race and was able to walk away from it, just fine. I was ready for my next challenge. Zane Grey here I come! The Zane Grey 50 is one of the most difficult 50 mile races in the country. Rocks. Lots and lots of rocks, I've been told. Sounds pretty entertaining if you ask me. 

After giving myself a nice 3 day rest, I began my ZG training. I went for an easy 3 miler and I noticed that...wait for it...my foot still hurt! What the hell, how can this be?! I was having trouble wrapping my brain around this. I ran a 50k and was able to walk just fine, even felt like I was better than prior to the race. "It's just sore" I thought to myself, "I will give it go in a couple days".

After a couple more equally crappy and unfulfilling runs, I still wasn't convinced. So my very best thinking brought me to a simple solution; I will run further and faster! That should prove that I am no longer injured! I felt running up the Tram Road was a glorious idea. The Tram Road is 3.8 miles of pavement that ascends up Sabino Canyon. Sabino Canyon in located in the Catalina Mountains, which are strategically placed in my backyard. Full round trip distance including the added mileage from my apartment, about 10 miles. 

So off I went. On a mission to prove my body a point. I will show you, foot, I'm the boss of this body! Right from the start it was clear that my foot was out to prove me a point. I was having a substantial amount of pain on the top of my foot. I pushed on. I was not willing to face reality. I made my way up the road and with each step my brain was flooded with pain and denial. 

Pain.

Denial.

Pain.

Denial.

This formula had brought me about halfway up the road when I stopped and thought, "I am not feeling good about this, I should probably just turn around."

Pain. 

Denial.

Pain.

Denial.

The dance continued.

Pain must have finally penetrated my thick skull because about a mile from the top I decided it was probably a good idea to head back. I started cruising down the road, pounding my foot quite nicely as I sustained a 6 minute pace. "Hey, I am not injured" thinking to myself, "I couldn't run a 6 minute pace if I was!" I was ecstatic. That's when it happened. I felt something happen in my foot. I can't even describe the feeling as it was like nothing I have ever experienced. It was like I felt a bone move. I don't think that is what actually happened, but that the best description I can come up with. I felt a bone move.

I was halted to a stop, filled with confusion and frustration. I was beaten into a state of reasonableness. I finally, after weeks of denial, was fully ready to accept the truth. My foot was injured and I should not be running. I was also forced to swallow the fact that I have continued to make it worse.

It was clear that the journey home was going to be a painfully dreadful experience. My foot felt weird. I know "weird" is very broad, but that's how it felt. For the first mile I sort of half limped a jog in a daze of frustration. I would have preferred to work through the emptiness of knowing that I would not be running for quite a while, by myself. But unfortunately I was located in the Mecca of running/walking/exercising/hiking/touristing of Tucson, when it happened. I love drama.

Before I turn this into a full fledge pitty party, in retrospect I do find a small amount of humor as I recall a lady passing me as she pushed a double stroller up a hill. At the time, I was enraged. I made my way home mixing up limping sprinkled with sadness. T'was a lonely stretch of time.

I burst through my apartment door and began whimpering out an explanation of what had had happened, to Kristi. "So much for Zane Grey" I cried, "I can't run anymore, this is horrible". I reluctantly must add that there was also a smidgen of weeping that followed. Again, I love drama.

That evening I felt a calmness come over me. I realized that I didn't want to deny the reality of my injury any longer. I didn't want to run in pain anymore. I think that's when the healing finally began.

Realizing that in order to keep my sanity I needed to replace my running with something, so I decided to go back to the gym. I also began writing.

I just returned from a visit to the town in which I was raised, Corrales, NM. I watched my younger brother, Max graduate from The University of New Mexico and spent Mother's Day with my parents. Max is moving to Florida, leaving my parents with no more of their children to share New Mexico with.

I am glad I was there to experience what feels like the ending of a chapter in our lives, and inevitably, the beginning of a new one. My father, Robert is a Chiropractor and happens to be the greatest healer I know. More than that, the best father I could ask for. I had some adjustments during my visit and spent some time off my feet.

I enjoyed spending time with friends and family during my stay. I got the chance to catch up a little bit with my cousin, Seth, whom I grew up with. We shared some memories of our exploits in the barrios of the South Valley during my visits as a child. And of the "fruit stand wars" my looney neighbors had. Seth has some interesting views about an array of topics, all of which have a dry wittiness about them.

Kristi was laying on the couch suffering from stomach pains after over indulging on some delectable New Mexican food when my mother offered her one of our family secret remedies, Activated Charcoal. I went into detail about how amazingly quick Charcoal can cure a stomach ache. I was very passionate in my attempt to convince her of these healing powers when Seth quipped, "the only thing that makes me need Activated Charcoal is this family." Seth is currently in Law School and I am convinced he will make a great Lawyer. When I returned home I went for my first (honestly) pain free run in a very long time.

I had some redemption on that paved hill in my backyard, this morning. I am so grateful to run. This mornings run was my longest since Crown King, and the 5th consecutive day I have been blessed to run. My motivation level is sky high, I am ready to fully commit to my training. I am now aware of the privilege it is to run. At any given moment it can be taken away. 

I am the type of person that demands to know the reason things happen. I am learning that answers don't always present themselves right away, sometimes you have to be patient. Patients is a trait that I have not embraced well. I was so angry when I got injured. The timing couldn't have been any worse. Why? Why the hell did I have to go on that run, that day? I was making myself crazy. When I finally accepted it for what it was and decided to stop feeling sorry for myself, I began to grow. 

So through this injury I have gained so much, much more than I lost. I traded a few days of running for a lifetime of writing. I hope more of life's twists and turns will continue to inspire.

The Grad and myself

My amazing parents

Back in my element